When you have been through a lot of storms you get to learn to be FEARLESS. This thing we call LIFE, as others quote “Life is a journey”, consists of something I rather refer to as TURBULENCE to shake us up. However the good news is TURBULENCE shakes us up before it brings something transformational, new and incredible!
On a journey, some people travel the smooth metaphorical road with their desired destination all drawn up clear before them; while others, under various circumstances, are born to travel the bumpy road – rocky, muddy, crossroads here and there. Along the way there are “TRANSITS”we rather call CHANGES. Speaking of Change, some of us find it undesirable, frustrating, discomforting. On the other hand, others see it as a friend. For as long as we breathe, Change is inevitable. Friend or Foe? As a matter of fact, Change has always been a good friend of mine…or perhaps I just try so hard to befriend it. In cases of a very mean change we can just say to ourselves “It couldn’t have happened at a better time” to help ease the pain we feel and most importantly in order for Positivity to not completely exit the door.
Getting out of a toxic relationship is a major change for me. Three years into the relationship I felt like a big part of me died. My passion for reading, writing and traveling was shoved into the backseat. LOVE MEANS NEVER HAVING TO SACRIFICE THE THINGS THAT YOU LOVE TO DO just to make the other person accept you. A happy relationship is not one-sided. You must have the readiness to accept each other`s weaknesses and strengths and to respect each one`s passion. Otherwise it`’s all being selfish. If you take, take, take it all but you never give the relationship is bound to be on the rocks.
This post-divorce chapter in my life is not easy. It takes a great deal of effort to cope with emotional pains, mental anguish and harassment. Dealing with the pains is like grabbing the bull by the horns. If you choose to be weak, the pain will consume you. Worse, you`ll fall into depression. Once depression takes over, you`ll lose everything and everyone you live for. Good news is, any unfortunate event can be a blessing in disguise depending on our attitude towards it.
“Every endless night has a dawning day, every darkest sky has a shining ray…” was a line from Ricky Martin’s song that kept on playing in my head while on board the bus on the way to Ankara after I fled my ex-husband`s home. At the break of dawn of 23 November 2016, the city greeted me with renewed hope as well as a promise of a second shot at life.We all have our fair share of failed relationships and I guess that is normal to happen at some point in our lives. Instinctively, we keep on convincing ourselves that life has got plenty of transitions and when the relationship is on the rocks, we at least try to move on and put it down to experience. On the other hand, the difficulty lies in how we struggle to cope with the stubborn negative emotions. You either RUN OR HIDE. If running means a risk of losing your loved ones, the comfort of your home, career, dear friends and investments, will you still be brave enough to turn your back on them and just run, hit the road to Change? While hiding means you’re not ready to risk them all and perhaps it is safer, cheaper, and easier to suck it all up. That being said, when we are in this dilemma we tend to perceive Change as an uncomfortable buddy. The good thing is, I am cool with Change…and so I chose to run…free from agony, abuse and isolation. We all have a choice and free will to decide what is better for ourselves.
Instead of dwelling on my failed marriage and talking to a shrink, I CHOSE TO HIT THE ROAD because I strongly believe that traveling is therapy as reading and writing are. If reading and writing were like taking a bite of that sumptuous blueberry muffin, then traveling would be devouring the blueberry muffin whole!
I am a nomad. A wanderer. I can`t stay in one place for a long time. I don’t think it`s wrong or bad. I think that to read, to travel, to write are beautiful ways to help a person make profound sense of his existence, to understand how people live, their cultures and languages. I have this insatiable burning passion in me to behold the wondrous beauty of the world, to connect with many different people, to embrace life.
Independence comes at a price. Being a single mother of two toddlers is an everyday challenge. Looking at the bright side, this exhilarating feeling of independence has brought me back to life. I am happy and content to live my life like an anonymous adventure. I am nobody’s captive. I am nobody’s prey. I am free.
According to Semisonic, every new beginning comes from some other beginning`s end. And so I choose to be proactive, perfectly poised for whatever brand new transits headed my way. It is like standing on the top of a mountain with arms wide open and breathing in fresh air as if it was my second and last shot at life. From now on I live each day as if it`s my last.
I AM NIRVANA!