I am crying out to the world on behalf of all the victims of domestic violence, especially for those who think that there is no way out. I AM THE VOICE for those who are scared to speak out and be exposed. 

The movie ENOUGH may just be a movie but it speaks loudly of the reality that there are a bunch of battered wives out there who are trapped in an abusive relationship; however, the sad reality is that these wives are too frightened to face  change , to fight their cause and stand up for themselves. Slim (portrayed by Jennifer Lopez) is a brave and intelligent woman who finally took the courage to put an end to the nightmarish relationship with her husband Mitch who had bullied and abused her in all ways possible. The movie bares the naked truth that there’s a lot going on behind closed doors no matter the race, religious beliefs and colors. 

It’s been three months since I fled my Turkish ex’s home. I’m looking forward to retrieving my other son (2 years old) very soon next week. I received good and bad news this week. Good news is – I’m going to have temporary custody of both kids. Bad news is – the hearing won’t start till the 17th of May. That’s three more months to wait but as long as I have my two kids with me the waiting won’t be that painful and distressing. 

This blog site I created aims to let my voice be heard , to resonate throughout the whole world, to give women courage and empowerment. DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IS NOT ACCEPTABLE AND IT HAS TO END. 

(Excerpt from my previous blog:)

Women are still treated as second class citizens in many countries of the world. Even in first world countries like the US, Australia and even on rich European soil, women are still being killed by their partners at an unacceptable rates. Men need to understand more what life is like for a woman. Men are still taking advantage and not respecting the natural nurturing and caring abilities of women. 

It’s very common where a woman has a network of friends and family, and she finds herself in an abusive relationship…even she can find it difficult (or dangerous) to move away. In many cases, her friends and family probably think there is nothing wrong with her relationship as most domestic problems are kept behind closed doors – they are not discussed or exposed outside. There is a certain amount of pride ,especially when children are involved ,  to put on a brace face to the rest of the world that everything is fine. Therefore, keeping up positive appearances is important for the kids and family. BUT YOU CAN ONLY FAKE FOR SO LONG. Eventually the pressure/stress takes it toll and something breaks. 

So many women choose to stay with their partners living a life of immense stress and fear. The longer they stay, the more chance of kids growing up mentally scared because they don’t have a loving family support system. 

*****

I fled my ex-husband’s home late evening of November 22, 2016. From then on, he sends me derogatory text messages nonstoppingly. He accused me of running away from him for another man, in addition to horrible lies he is telling his friends and family. He unceasingly threatens to humiliate me to everyone who knows me if I don’t go back to him. Go back to him and be bashed again? To go back to him would be suicide. 

All I’ve got to say is he is a sociopath, a revolting and disgusting narcissistic man. He’s a rude and belligerent man who is poisoning himself with his own rage. You have a pet dog. You kick your dog, it runs away. Keep kicking your dog and it’ll run away and not come back. Worse, it might bite you!

I did not run away for another man. I ran away from him. I left mainly because I could not take the abuse anymore. The constant verbal abuse and physical abuse. Considering I’m barely 40 kg versus him who is more than 90 kg, he must have been a strong brave man to bash my face for almost 30 minutes in front of my 2 year-old petrified son. I had to bear the pain inflicted on me. However, physical pain is defined and limited. It can be repaired…but the emotional abuse inflicted on me from the constant verbal assault is not defined and does not repair itself so easily. It was my emotional wellbeing and welfare of my two children that grew my hate for him, made my resolve so unwavering that on that particular night of November last year I composed myself , got the boys ready and headed for the bus station, left for Ankara to seek refuge from the Philippine Embassy. Three years into the relationship, I wasn’t happy living with him. The only thing that kept me going in survival mode was my love for my children. Knowing that he had kept me undocumented for those years, I couldn’t bear the thought of getting deported and losing custody of my children. I sacrificed my freedom and happiness. Instead, I waited for the right time of my escape by sucking up all the abuse and began to take the necessary steps – renewing my passport, getting a residence permit and an insurance policy. 

I’m currently living in Ankara waiting for the upcoming hearing to take place in May. The last place on earth I’d want to be is back in his house and town. That house I’d lived in for years was a nightmare. I’D RATHER DIE STANDING ON MY OWN FEET FIGHTING FOR MY CHILDREN THAN GO BACK TO HIM. TO GO BACK TO HIM WOULD BE AKIN TO LIVING MY LIFE ON MY KNEES ON BROKEN GLASS. I lived with that pain quietly inside me and he didn’t even know it. I’m out … THERE IS NO TURNING BACK. IT’S A BREATH OF FRESH AIR. 


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